Today I noticed that gaslighting has become a trend and pressing issue that needs to be addressed. It is a form of emotional abuse and manipulation and it primarily occurs in romantic relationships, but it's not uncommon in controlling friendships or among family members as well. To further understand what gaslighting is all about, this blog post will be highlighting and answering a few frequently asked questions on gaslighting. Do read through to the end?.

WHAT IS GASLIGHTING? 
Gaslighting happens when a person tries to mislead someone such that they doubt their memory, sanity, perceptions, or even question their reality. It's also a manipulative behavior that involves intentionally provoking negative emotions, then dismissing the reactions of the provoked victim. Gaslighting involves two parties, the gaslighter, and the victim. The gaslighter is the one who manipulates the victim's reaction/behavior. Let's take a few examples of gaslighting to understand better. 

EXAMPLES OF GASLIGHTING
How will you know when someone is gaslighting you? Here are some common phrases used by gaslighters:
. There you go again, making things up

. That never happened!

. You should get over this, it wasn't that serious

. I was only joking! You take everything personally

. You're making yourself the victim, when I'm the one who should be mad

. Just this small issue, you're already angry

. You're just imagining things

. If you truly loved me, you would ...

 . You have issues

. I never said that

. You make up stuff in your head

. You're crazy/ irrational/ignorant/ too sensitive...

. There's always drama with you

. Blatant lying or continuous cover-ups, etc. 

HOW DOES GASLIGHTING FEELS? 
. You frequently second-guess yourself, thinking you're overreacting to all the small things
. You constantly question yourself, (am I too sensitive? did this actually happen?) 
. Constantly feeling confused or like you're going crazy 
. You feel like you're walking on eggshells
. You apologize without even knowing what you did wrong 
. They insist it didn't happen that way even when you have proof 
. You feel alone and disconnected
. There's an imbalance of power
. They make you think your emotions are invalid. 

WHAT TRIGGERS GASLIGHTING? 

The love of being in control triggers gaslighting. Gaslighters always thrive to be in control to the extent that once they sense that they're losing control, they use various manipulative tactics to stay in control still. Gaslighters usually aren't born manipulative, some people develop it through social learning. They discover that the words they say can persuade, manipulate and control others and they start using them to gain immense power over another.  

CAN GASLIGHTING AFFECT THE MENTAL HEALTH? 
Yes, it can. Gaslighting can make the victim feel like they're losing their mind. The victim begins to feel:
. Anxiety
. Depression
. Isolation
. Loss of hope
. Dependance on the gaslighter
. Trauma, etc.

HOW TO COMBAT GASLIGHTING
1. Speak with confidence: When you notice that you're being gaslighted, the best way to tackle it is to be filled with so much confidence. You need to stand and speak with a high level of conviction in a relaxed tone, a well-composed body posture, that shows that you're right, know what you're doing, and cannot be manipulated. 
2. Note things down: You should jot down how events happened in every way possible especially when you suspect you're being gaslighted. Keeping records on your notepad, diaries, phone records, etc will help you keep evidence and record of how the event occurred.  This will help you know that:
. You're not overreacting
. You're not imagining things
. You know you're being lied to
. You know you're absolutely a victim of gaslighting. 
3. Have a trusted buddy: It can't be overemphasized that you need to have a central figure in your life that you can talk to and share your experiences with if you're being gaslighted. It can be your counselor, close friend, parent, neighbor, etc. Just make sure the person is trustworthy and can direct you rightly. 
4. Relax and practice self-care: Gaslighting can take a toll on your mental health that's why it's important to practice self-care. Take yoga classes, exercise, travel, meditate, eat well, do what you love best, and spend time with families and friends. Keeping your heart clear and strong will make you see things clearly and allow you to figure out what next steps to take. 

FINAL WORDS
Being able to Identify that you are being gaslighted is an important first step, and once you've done this, the next step is to know how to combat it which has been highlighted above. However, if you've been gaslighted for a long time, you might find it difficult to know who to trust, this is why I would recommend you consult a therapist or seek professional guidance to help you navigate through what you're going through. This consultation may help you regain your self-awareness, recover trust in yourself, and attain the necessary tools to feel empowered in your relationships. 

Hi reader,
Thank you for reading through❤. Do you find this post insightful? Drop a like and comment if you did, thanks❤️.